Red Seven! Hot Route!

Critical care boards are next week for me, so that means you get the hot route version of picks this week. (Hopefully they’ll be hot, because the last few weeks have not been). To paraphrase another seminal comedy figure of my childhood, “I got a feeling one day me and all my picks are going down, but for now I gotta study.”

Tier 1: Star-Spangled Awesome (Season Record: 4-11-1)

Patriots -3 over Packers

Despite letting the Dolphins in the back door last week, Drake Maye and company have righted this ship.

Tier 2: The Favorites (Season Record: 9-9)

Rams -4.5 over Commanders

Bears -6.5 over Bucs

At some point, we are going to anoint the Rams as “back.” It can’t be after beating up on their Los Angeles stepbrothers, but it might be this week.

Ben Johnson and Caleb Williams are in their bag right now and Baker Mayfield didn’t complete a pass last week.

Tier 3: En La Mitad (Season Record: 16-11)

Falcons +3 over Bengals

Saints -3 over Browns

Giants -3 over Eagles

Raiders +9.5 over 49ers

Bills -3 over Vikings

Baker Mayfield didn’t complete a pass last week, but he was still the best quarterback on the field. I’ll give Michael Penix a pass (no pun intended) for playing in a monsoon. Bet the over in this game, even if it’s in Madrid.

I can’t quit New Orleans…maybe I should.

I have quit the Eagles. New York coming off a bye. There’s a chance J.J. McCarthy reverts to being “Nine” again, but I think the Giants can run the ball on this Eagles team.

The Raiders will come in for the backdoor cover here.

Josh Allen vs. Brian Flores is the most entertaining matchup of the week. It’s a Vikes game so I’m betting the under.

Tier 4: The Big Ds (Season Record: 14-16)

Cowboys -5.5 over Colts

Lions -7 over Dolphins

Broncos -3 over Panthers

The Colts have entered tank mode. Dallas shakes off last week’s collapse

Prayers for Jack Campbell. Detroit gets a big win for Jack.

Carolina has struggled to establish the run all year, which is the only way to consistently move the ball on Denver.

Tier 5: Giant Lines and a Suckfest (Season Record: 11-17-1)

Ravens +9.5 over Jaguars

Jets +9.5 over Chiefs

Cardinals +8.5 over Seahawks

Texans -4.5 over Chargers

I thought I was getting Josh Allen vs. Lamar Jackson on Sunday, and the next thing I know Baltimore is playing Lou Ferrigno at quarterback…except he looked more like Bruce Banner pre-gamma radiation. A week of first-team reps will help though.

Kansas City is coming off a tough, physical game. I could see a sluggish start before putting things away late.

Garder “McRib” Minshew is back for a limited time. Sam Darnold is also out.

I think we just bet against the Chargers every week now right?

Last Week: 4-10

Season Record: 54-64-2

Cover Photo Courtesy of Richard Cartwright