Sometimes in football you’ve gotta speed up the offense to catch the defense napping and make a big play. We got some momentum back last week and now we are ready to kick the offense into high gear. Also, I’m working in the cardiac ICU this week so fewer words from me is probably better for everyone. Also also, I’m pretty sure I pulled a similar gimmick last year. Some ideas are worth running back.

Tier 1: Omaha! Omaha! (Season Record: 17-10-2)

49ers -10.5 over Seahawks

Eagles +3.5 over Cowboys

“Omaha!” is the Peyton Manning classic call. The G.O.A.T of quarterback calls at the line, if you will.

San Francisco is absolutely rolling right now. They are my Super Bowl pick at the moment and I was foolish to pick against them last week. Seattle put up a ton of points on a good Cowboys defense last week and has a long week of preparation, but I’m not going against the 49ers without a great reason.

Philadelphia is reeling following their loss to the 49ers, but I think they bounce back and keep things close in Dallas. The first game in Philly was close, and I don’t expect this one to be any different.

Tier 2: Red 7! Red 7! Hot Route! (Season Record: 13-18-1)

Falcons -1.5 over Bucs

Lions -3 over Bears

Texans -3.5 over Jets

The football scene in Wedding Crashers is a classic. “Crab cakes and football! That’s what Maryland does!”

Atlanta is more talented than Tampa Bay and gets them at home. This line feels low. Now watch underdog Baker throw for 350 yards and 4 tuddies.

Detroit shanked me last time I picked them to beat the lowly Bears. Chicago is actually playing a lot better, but Detroit won’t have the same turnover issues this time around.

Has anyone else ever heard a story of a guy getting to be an NFL starter again and him saying, “Nah boss. I’m good.” The Jets are still the Jets.

Tier 3: Nascar! (Season Record: 29-18-1)

Rams +7.5 over Ravens

Vikings -3 over Raiders

Chiefs -1.5 over Bills

“Nascar” is a popular hurry-up offense call, including my high school’s at the time I played there.

By DVOA, Baltimore is the best team in football, and that may be true. Lamar Jackson is playing at a high level. The defense is excellent. I still just don’t trust them completely with a big spread. The Rams have proven to have a capable offense if Stafford is upright.

Justin Jefferson is on track to return this week, so regardless of whether it’s “The Passtronaut” or Jaren Hall, he should have myriad receiving options with Jefferson back in the mix.

Kansas City isn’t as good as they were last year, but they are still good. This is a low spread against an inconsistent team.

Tier 4: Pizza! Pizza! (Season Record: 18-23-2)

Colts -1.5 over Bengals

Jaguars +3 over Browns

Dolphins -13.5 over Titans

Packers -6.5 over Giants

It may be Russell Wilson’s new hurry-up call, but it’s funnier when that Little Caesar’s lady does it mocking Matt Stafford.

Cincinnati is still dangerous with all of their talent around the quarterback position, as they showed on Monday night, but I’m still not sure taking them to beat a decent team on a short week is wise.

In a season increasingly highlighted by questionable backup quarterback play, this game may be crown jewel. C.J. Beathard vs. Dorian Thompson-Robinson/Joe Flacco. Get your popcorn ready! I’m just straight taking the underdog.

Miami can blowout bad teams, as they demonstrated last week.

Jordan Love has figured something out and the Packers look like a playoff team right now, after looking like a top-5 pick team not that long ago. This spread is a little rich for my taste, especially against a team coming off a bye, but I think you’ve gotta ride the hot hand.

Tier 5: (Insert Jets No Huddle Call Here) (Season Record: 19-21-1)

Patriots +6 over Steelers

Saints -5.5 over Panthers

Broncos +2.5 over Chargers

Couldn’t resist one more joke at the Jets expense.

No Kenny Pickett makes it hard to lay six points on this Steelers offense. Don’t bet this game.

The Panthers squeaked out a cover last week. I can’t expect that to happen two weeks in a row.

Denver’s winning streak came to an end last week, but they are still one of the most improved teams in football this season. I also can’t resist picking against Brandon Staley as a favorite.

Last Week: 8-4-1

Season Record: 96-90-7

Cover Photo Courtesy of Jennifer Buchanan/The Seattle Times